I was happy. The government office is not the place where you usually feel happy; but it was not a usual day, it was a historic moment. The office where even fans make less revolutions because it’s a government fan; where the potential energy of that side of the table converts in the dynamic energy only when some external force applies under the table (This physics might not make any sense to you but everybody knows it is “chemistry” that matters there) where getting your work done itself is a cause of celebration think of my situation where I have got my work done, almost, WITHOUT PAYING. This almost is not for “without paying” but for “work”. 

I just have to get it stamped from peon and I can blow my own trumpet till my fried’s ear turns deaf. 

I am going to the peon now. Meanwhile let me introduce my friend, who is witnessing this whole saga silently, to you. He is not that silent usually but as I told earlier this is not a usual day, it is the day of his defeat. Some time ago following my usual routine when I went to his home we got entangled in an argument (following our usual routine) but this time it was the battle of principles (which we both didn’t have). Conversation flew something like this:
 Me: Take out your car. We will go on a long ride today. 
My Friend: sure. Today only I have my got license made. Let us inaugurate it. 
Me: Yippee. New license party. 
My friend: The party money has gone to the government official. Bring it and then we will definitely have a party. Me: That’s not fair. You can’t use my party money to pay for your convenience. 
My friend: Sir, where are you. Bribe is not a surcharge for the convenience it is a mandatory grease of the system which makes it run smoothly. 
Me: It seems someone is in dire need of putting grease in his own system which has refused to buzz for these kinds of works. That rust has reached your top floor buddy. Your convenience is mandatory for you and that is putting surcharge on the system. 

My friend just smiled. But it was not just a smile. It was the same smile which people exhibit when they don’t feel like arguing because the next person is not worthy enough. By this single smile they consider the argument won without actually indulging in it. I could analyse that so now I have to counter it. And what is the better way to counter than to prove it.
 
“Ok. You don’t believe me, do you? I will get my license made without paying a single penny.” I said curtly.
 “Don’t take it to heart man. I accept my defeat. You won. No need to do that” he smiled again. 
Again the same smile. I could bear it no more but I controlled my anger and said firmly “It’s a bet. You don’t need to accept it but you are a part of it now. I will prove it to you that our system is corrupt because we don’t want to go out in the sun. Our desire to be in a shade is tanning the system. I will show you its true complexion. 
My friend: As you wish. I am glad being the part of the bet. 

That was yesterday. Today I have reached to the peon. I just have to get it stamped and I am ready to repay him all his smiles.
 “Bhaiya please put stamp on this paper” I requested peon. 
“10 bucks” he said with a straight face.
 Not putting a please before asking for anything didn’t please me. Not that I would have paid him had he done that, but still. 
“No No. You got me wrong. I am not buying the stationary” I tried to crack a joke. 
“I am not selling the stationary either” he quipped matter-of-factly. 
“Where is it written that I should pay you?” this time I was not funny. 
“The constitution of England is also unwritten. Do anyone question that!”
 
I was not prepared for (this)/to answer. I never imagined such an insignificant creature possessing this significant knowledge. I always thought that knowledge is legacy of the educated people like us. I was answerless and had to leave the government office for today, at least; till the ignominy of defeat subsides by the ointment of shamelessness. 

That day onwards I started going to that office regularly. 
1st day I tried to threaten him that I will complain and he will be in a deep soup but his face was as expressionless as ever. He himself told me the authorities to whom I can complain. 
2nd day I tried to awaken his consciousness by telling him his duties as an honest and responsible staff that can “make the difference.” He replied that he is already making difference.........to his own life. 
3rd day I tried to reason with him that it will make no harm to your pocket if you discount it only for me but he told me that he can’t cheat other customers. He is providing a service in which trust and credibility is the only thing; he has built up for years. For a meagre amount he can’t compromise on that. 
4th day I gave him subtle hints to convey that I have many contacts and he could leverage it in case I leverage him as my contact but I got to know that the government peon has maximum no of contacts; he doesn’t need more. He is connected to everybody and not in that “six degrees of freedom” sense but in “star network” sense. 

I went there so many times as I started feeling myself as housewife and the office as a kitchen. Only difference being; I was being cooked instead of me cooking. I was like a pressure cooker which had steam in opulence but no whistle. I was such a frequent visitor that I could tell the daily income of the peon by just seeing the bulge. My minor contribution in that bulge could have saved me from this swelling. 
My friend never teased me not because he was such a sympathetic person but because he knew it hurts most when nothing is being said. So many days have passed since then that Alexander would have won whole India by now but I am still struggling with my license to be made “priceless”. 

I analyzed the whole situation and only thing that had left to convince that damn peon was “to make him an offer that he couldn’t refuse”. Totally godfather style. In the whole saga only person who remained firm was that peon. It’s time for me to be firm now. I planned the whole move. I took out my licensed gun (god knows who made this license and how!!) and put it firmly in my pocket. I knew the work stops at 4 o clock in that office and by 5 everyone leaves. That peon leaves slightly after that after settling last few customers. I deliberately chose this time when none is around; not because I didn’t want any witness if I shot him but for if my hands shivered while bringing out the gun nobody was there to ridicule me afterwards.
 
I entered the office as per my plan. He was alone. My grip tightened on the gun. All my pities, my begging which I had done in last few months started coming to me. I felt like Bhagat Singh who is going to take revenge against the system. My fear got replaced by my enthusiasm and determination. I felt like shooting him if he refused.
 
I approached him with my straight face. With one hand on the trigger in my pocket I pushed my paper to him without uttering a word. He saw the paper then he saw my face. He watched his wrist watch and thought for a moment. In the meantime my pressure was building up. I was not sure what I would do had he refused.
 
He took the paper. Put the stamp on it and handed it over to me with a smile. I couldn’t believe that I had succeeded finally. I don’t know what happened....did he get the hint of my plans or did he just give up unable to bear my face again and again? All I know I had done it. I ran to my friend’s house, threw the paper on his desk and smiled as if see I had the last “smile”. I didn’t tell him anything because I knew it hurts the most when nothing is said. I had won and this win gave me the magnanimity to call him for the party tonight. 

He was very pleasant and happy. No sign of remorse or defeat was apparent on his face. He accepted the offer as he had accepted me with all my faults.
 
After few months, I had to go the same office with some other friend for his work. When he was getting the paper stamped by the same peon I quipped “You shouldn’t take money. You haven’t taken from me”. 
He grinned and replied “didn’t your friend tell you?” 
What? I asked.
 “A day before you got your paper stamped your friend had paid me enough to put it to the end.”
 
He answered smilingly. I couldn’t bear that. I got the shock of my lifetime. Technically I had won the bet because “I” didn’t pay anything but had I really won! Close